I am honest. I am truthful. I cut to the point quite often. I don't dance around the answer.
I have this clear cut mentality I think more often than I should. When I think of what I deserve...what DO I deserve? Nothing. Jesus died for me. Did I do anything to deserve this? No. Am I still a sinner? Yes. So, if I continue to do things that hurt my Father, why would he give me grace? Why would He choose to rescue me when all I do is continually abuse that grace He gives me?
Wait, stop dear child. WHY ARE YOU QUESTIONING WHY GOD DOES THE THINGS HE DOES.
I question things too often, that I begin to forget why He loves me.
Do you not know just how powerful He is? Is it really necessary for you to know why God works in the ways He does, or His reasoning for his actions? Of course not. Isaiah 55 says His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. He is such a mysterious creature. This is the beauty of the Lord, yes? We don't need to know why He does the things He does. We don't need to forecast our future. The future is as misty a fog as will ever be, and it will remain that way. We have today. We don't have tomorrow yet. Utilize that to your advantage.
These past couple weeks have been embedded with unexpected blessing. Pain brings out the best, but only if you let it. Don't resist pain. You have no clue what can come about in your life if you let go. Through all kinds of strife that have been hitting me like a ton of bricks, I continually see Jesus. He uses broken people FAR more than He uses ones that have it all together, and has been quite literally THROWING opportunities at me to be His hands and feet to others.
We are trees. This leads me back to the initial question: "Why?" Because we must be pruned and refined. Think about your favorite garden plant, tree, etc. How does it grow if there is ugly, dead, lifeless limbs attached to it? How do you get a plant healthy again? You break these pieces off. This is a painful process, but completely necessary in a life of a Christ follower. But there is reward. We will sparkle far more than gold. We will be filled with the most inexplicable joy. YOU MUST LET THE SAVIOR IN.
I will bear my cross so long as I live.
"I will lie burning; on Thy potter's wheel
I will whirl patient, though my brain should reel.
Thy grace shall be enough the grief to quell,
And growing strength perfect through weakness dire." -- George MacDonald; "Diary of an Old Soul."
