I try patience on in my closet corner at dawn
I wear it well often
I look real good
But not today
My heart longs
It needs
It wants
It drives
It wishes
It hurts
It shakes violently
It prevents sleep
It prevents peace
It prevents joy
No
Am I patiently waiting?
Hell no
I am clearly not grasping
what it means to wait for Your watch to tick
I'm picking my brain apart
Trying to fix what notch stopped working
Clawing at my head
Trying to solve these prisons in my psyche
I know what I want
What my crawling flesh wants
But my Father prevails
He will rule over any desire I have because I wish it to be so
Take my feet, let me fly
Take my eyes, I won't cry
Take my lips, I'll speak kindness
You say of all Your treasures, I am the finest?
How can this be, when I am so dull?
This glass I bear feels too full
Full of things that weigh my heart down
Feeling like I am about to drown
But YOU, You make me shine
You make me glisten
I am radiating
I am emitting light
Your Light
Scrape all of my impurities and make me beautiful
I want every piece of You
All of You
Forever You
Always You
Romance my heart, Father
Make my dead heart explode
This anxiety does not come from above,
but from my lack of trust in you.
Clearly, if I had no doubts in your abilities,
I would not be full of all this anxiety.
You make all things work together for YOUR good.
Let your will be done, always.
Always.
Let me drip with peace
Down my spine
Weave my ribs with it
Coat my heart with it
Plaster my brain with it
Fix my crooked hips, and lead me on your path
Your path to Light
Your path to Life
Small is my gain without you
YOU ARE MINE
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